Post-Cold, Pre-Vacation

Friday, March 26, 2010

As I have gained five pounds of water weight for reasons that mystify me (I know it's water weight because I can press divots along my shinbones from my ankles to mid-leg. Oh, and it mysteriously appeared in one day, which is physiologically impossible with anything but water), plus I'm finally getting over the cold that sandbagged me last weekend, plus many other people including my best friend are losing weight all around me, I'm officially fed up. Fed up with feeling fat and unattractive, fed up with not fitting into clothes I like, fed up with not being able to sleep comfortably, fed up with having to bring an air mattress on trips so that I can get any sleep at all, fed up with the heart hiccups and wondering if I'm flirting with a failing valve (yes, I've been to the doctor. The EKG says everything's fine, but I have to wonder) -- I'm just fucking fed up.

And so, this is day two of modified Atkins for me (modified because eating strict Atkins for lunch is impossible unless I prepare and bring my meals, and with my insane schedule these days I can't count on having time to do that). Breakfast yesterday was bacon and eggs, lunch was a chicken caesar wrap and small cup of cottage cheese, dinner was a steak, emerald kale and a strawberry smoothie made of strawberries, soy milk, cottage cheese and Splenda, plus I walked for 15 minutes last night on the treadmill. Breakfast today was a cup of low-carb yogurt with one square of exotic chocolate because I needed something to keep me from killing people on the way into work, lunch was a chicken caesar wrap and small cup of cottage cheese, and I'm thinking of a chicken stir-fry for dinner tonight as well as an upper body weight workout at the gym. I need to add more food to the schedule, but I haven't really been all that hungry as I can't TASTE anything at the moment due to the lingering effects of the cold. Oh, and my mood is in the crapper as it always is for the first week when I do this, but hey, I'm down two pounds already.

Why Atkins? Because for me it works. It doesn't for other people, and I've read the research that says low-carb and low-fat diets cause pretty much the same amount of weight loss, but carb restriction seems to work best for my already fucked up metabolism (PCOS and a low-functioning thyroid). Okay, my mood is incredibly foul (dear Lord, I had some ANGRY dreams last night, including one where Lyndon and I had to move in with my father -- he was making some really nasty cracks about Lyndon, and I just wanted to brain him), but that's a side effect of me adjusting to a lower carb intake. Once that happens, I should be golden.

In the meantime, I will probably be venting here, so you have been warned. Speaking of venting, I have so frigging much to do and so little time in which to do it. I have to clean the house this weekend before Stacy and the kids get here next Wednesday, plus get the tax paperwork done before Monday for the accountant, I still have to weed out that side flower bed, I've have not one but TWO arborists flake on me and I still need to get the frigging crepe myrtles topped, the lawn service hasn't shown up yet this year and I think I need to find someone new, and oh yeah, I'm supposed to be finishing a book right about now. Ha. Ha ha ha.

*puts head on desk and cries just a little bit*