*scree*scree*scree* revisited

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

And this is why I don't weigh myself on a regular basis. I can tell from my face, extremities and the fact that I can wear a pair of jeans I've NEVER been able to fit in before that I have gotten smaller.

The lying fuck of a rat-bastard scale, however, informs me that not only have I only lost four pounds over six weeks, I have also miraculously GAINED back five pounds in one day. Which probably has much to do with the Crimson Tide and my body's habit of channeling your average camel and retaining enough water to make it across the Sahara.

See, Walt, this is why I don't look at the scale. Consider yourself damn lucky that you're penile-enhanced.

Back in the closet it goes, asshat piece of machinery that it is. And now, my friends, Mellie gets serious about throwing the iron around, because that is the ONLY way for this Eastern European to lose acceptable amounts of poundage.

Tuesday's total mileage: 1.32 miles. 500.76 miles to Isengard.

*scree*scree*scree*

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The title, by the way, is the closest I can come to the Psycho theme, which accurately reflects how I've been feeling today (well, that and this comic).

I can always tell when the Crimson Tide is about to make its grand appearance -- I start sloshing with retained water because my electrolytes are bouncing all over the place, and my temper turns homicidal. I should have done a stockup at Kroger this afternoon, but I took one look at the jammed parking lot and turned around. If I had to wade through that crowd, blood would have been spilt.

The exercise helps, of course. Still, I would give a pretty penny for a five day dose of Celebrex and a quart of Blue Bell Tin Roof ice cream. And maybe a good old fashioned bloodbath with lots of swordswomen. Yeah.

Monday's total mileage: 1.32 miles. 502.08 miles to Isengard.

Want to see who my hero is?

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Taffy Carlisle Huffington of Pod Is My Copilot has spent the last 10 months achieving a single goal: to lose 150 pounds in one year. She is closing in on her goal, and should achieve it on schedule in June.

Go here to see what she did. Taffy, darlin', you are one hell of an inspiration!

Good to know!

Note to self: before sitting down to record a brand new podcast, go off and do your walk because otherwise you'll spend 6 -8 hours recording the podcast, editing the podcast, setting up a website, creating artwork, uploading MP3s to LibSyn and doing the other work that goes into a podcast launch, and after the sun comes up and you're blearily staring at your screen trying to remember what the squiggly black marks mean is not the best time to go exercise.

Mmm, planning this out a bit more in advance might have been a good idea, yes?

So, no walks on Friday and Saturday, but I did keep the calories within acceptable levels so that's not necessarily a huge downer. Now if I can just convince the black and white cat that I am not into bestiality and he should stop trying to push his head up my butt while I'm sleeping, everything would be good!

Sunday's total mileage: 503.40 miles to Isengard.
Weight work:

	Set #1	Set #2	Set #3	Set #4
Reps	12	12	12	12
Squat	X	X	X	X
Split Squat	X	X	X	X
Stiff Legged Deadlift	20	20	20	20
Calf Raises	X	X	X	X

Jeans

Thursday, April 24, 2008

I'm sitting here wearing a pair of jeans that I bought about two years ago. They were an emergency purchase, grabbed just before we flew to England to attend my SIL's wedding, and even though they were kinda small I bought them because I knew I wasn't going to get through an entire week on just two pairs of old black jeans, which were the only things I had at the time that fit me.

And I was right -- the new jeans didn't really fit very well. I couldn't sit comfortably in them, and when I took them off I had this horrible red welt all around my waist from the band cutting into my skin. I struggled through the week in England, then as soon as I got home I put them on my "too small" shelf with all the clothes that didn't fit me anymore. And there they sat for two years, despite occasional try-ons, because they still didn't fit.

This morning, while getting dressed, I decided to jump the gun a little bit. I was going to hold off trying them on again until May 1, when I did my weigh-in, but since all of my shorts and jeans were in the wash I figured, "What the hell."

Go back to the first sentence in this post. I'm sitting here wearing a pair of jeans... I'm not gasping for breath or wincing in pain. I don't feel as if they're slowly sawing me in half. They're still the tiniest bit snug, but I wouldn't shy away from wearing them in public.

Oh, yeah.

Thursday's total mileage: 504.65 miles to Isengard.

Back to throwing iron around

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Huzzah! Today marks my return to weightlifting, and oh dear, where did my upper body musculature go? I know I had some muscles, somewhere...

As shown in this shot (yes, I know it's blurred -- it was taken with my cameraphone), you can see Your Hostess just after finishing 40 minutes of cardio and before she prepares to throw the iron around. Just be grateful you can't see the rivulets of sweat coursing off my brow -- it ain't pretty, folks.

By the way, I'm posting this picture, unflattering as it is, to prove a point -- I am not some slender willow fretting about putting on three ounces after having an extra helping of celery at lunch. I'm a big ol' gal, without a doubt. From the side, I look like a duck. I'm hefty. And I need to lose at least 140 pounds. Whee...

Which is why I'm in the gym lifting weights, walking on the treadmill and generally doing things that are considered beneficial for my health. Yeah, I know I look nothing like most of the other folks in the gym, and Lord knows I'm not wearing stylish exercise togs. In fact, I think I'm wearing a Dave Matthews Band cap, Windycon t-shirt, cutoff sweatpants, black crew socks and my Dr. Scholl gymshoes in that pic. Fabulous!

Thing is, I'm not there to impress anyone with my fashion sense, and I really don't give a rat's ass what someone thinks when they look at me. I suspect too many people in my condition are shamed into thinking that they can't step foot into a gym, looking the way they do -- the perfect people might point and laugh, after all.

My attitude? "Bite me." I'm there to sweat, grunt, swear, haul weights, flop my fat around, and perform whatever I need to do in order to build muscles, strengthen bones and keep my heart pumping for years to come. If the perfect people don't like what they see, that's what the gym TV's are for.

Oh, yeah -- despite the fact that I'm a big ol' gal, my resting heart rate is currently 77. Normal is anywhere between 70 - 80. I've had it as low as 65, and I intend to get it even lower this time. And the calves are starting to cut in quite nicely, thank you very much.

Wednesday's total mileage: 505.99 miles to Isengard.

Weight work:

	Set #1	Set #2	Set #3	Set #4
Reps	12	12	12	12
Benchpress	30	30	30	30
Triceps Press	20	20	20	20
Shoulder Press	20	20	20	0
Ab Crunches	X	X	X	X

Spring has sprung

Yes, we have seen the last of the cool, pleasant days in the clavicle of Texas until October or so. I don't necessarily mind the heat all that much, but the humidity just makes me want to flop onto a recliner posed in front of a strategic air vent and swill ice water.

On the plus side, I now have a nice short bob so the sweat on the back of my neck manages to evaporate, which came in handy as I plodded around the complex this evening. I may have to just suck it up and start using the treadmill again (which is good because it's in the A/C, but bad because it's pretty much relentless and stopping to take a break is somewhat problematic).

Oh, also had a kickass job interview today. Think good thoughts for me, please!

Tuesday's total mileage: 507.33 miles to Isengard.